i hate everything today. that feeling you get when someone does something fucking ridiculous and you can’t stop them is sometimes enraging.
today was going well too,
I did another hour at the exercise thing again which is amazing for me, i’m regularly exercising an hour at a time where before i couldn’t even go 30 minutes.
at the end i started getting upset because i was thinking about all the time i lost as a result of my 2nd attack.
I gained 60 pounds in 3 summers. I lost my ability to have children because of that weight gain. I recede around people I don’t know and it’s still SO HARD to even be around men for more than like, 10 minutes.
PTSD and what happened has its tendrils on almost every aspect of my life.
i even stopped doing art after that happened. and now i have to catch up.